Distance - 10 miles
And that's the end of that story ..
As my daughters would say, I took an L Sunday morning. A CAPITAL L. (no, mom, taking an L doesn't involve any drug. Me: are you sure, what the heck is taking an L?? girls: taking a loss, mom. taking a loss. calm down).
A bit of confusion on the dress front. What do I wear for 40-ish start line weather again? Each season change reverts me to noob. In the end, wore too much for racing, but just right for the fun run that took place.
The morning had all the makings of a great time. Solid prep. No anxiety. Unfortunately, actually very little energy what so ever, period. That should have been a sign. But good things kept happening. Like Kyle and Brandi were in my corral, and Brandi had no goal. I've been wanting to run a race with her forever. She's so inspiring. So you know if I gave up on that, there really was no other option. Before mile 2, we weren't even pushing the pace past goal pace of 9:08, and I already knew I didn't have it. So I let that be the end of that. And why didn't I have it? That's the weirdest thing. Nothing hurt. And I could breath. My legs just were not strong enough, and my brain just didn't want to run. I thought about the two weeks of nothing I'd done. And before 5K, I was walking hills. Since I had no chance at goal pace, enter: existential crisis. Why am I even OUT here?
Me.
I walked, I waited for friends. I ran for 2-3 minutes with every friendly face I saw. And that started to help me find my way back. Not for this race, but with some of the mental struggle that took over. I saw *all* of my friends and participants in a quest to find Michele and Pam! (Who started in E, bhahaha). When I did find them, that FINALLY un-depressed me a little. And we had a good time playing, and "coaching" Pam.
The one thing you can't say is that we don't make lemonade from lemons! Talk about fun runnin' with the buds! There was Sargent Judy, and singing 'Brown Eyed Girl" Judy, and dancing Judy. This is the race I'd been wanting since Flying Pig; I guess you just don't get to pick when it happens to you.
I should have set a more realistic goal. Straight PR would have been 10:14 avg pace. That's the trouble with not caring enough to set a time goal, or an easy 10% goal. If I have nothing in mind, I literally do nothing. Does it matter? Not really. The 10 miler distance is so different than most other races, and I gained so much from 2014 to 2015 here, that two weeks from 1st marathon badass-crush-fest, it means nothing, right? The really hard pill to swallow, though .. of course .. was that its the last Grand Prix in probably the *only* year I'll ever want to "bunny." (Bunny: the award you get for doing all 12-14 ATC Grand Prix races, and the only way an average Joette like me would earn enough points to hit Top 5). I probably lost my 3rd place Grand Prix standing. Especially since the other two in the running DID THE 5K.
*shock*
Man that really grinds my gears! ;) (aka: shoot, I should of thought of that. Hahahahaha). Just kidding. I probably couldn't have hit a sub-27 5K either. Womp, womp. My only hope is that enough 1-2 timers (a.k.a Elites) took enough of the other award points such that none of the other "stubborn" participants (my affectionate term for the top 10 who always show up in my age group, lol), who are with in 100 pt range to me can boot me out of third. (don't try to follow along, just trust me .. 50/50 chance either way, lol). Can't do ALL the math required at a big race like this myself even, so I will just wait and be surprised (or sad) when they update later in the week.
After the race, I was sad. This is where racing sucks hard a bit harder than usual. Kyle KNOCKED.IT.OUT. And being happy for him and sad for myself at the same time is a hard feat. The main thought is always: now we'll be way off in pace forever, and I will lose all my friends. (dramatic much??) But I didn't have a tantrum pass.
Rules of the Toddler Runner Temper Tantrum: 2 per year. Black out dates: May not be used in the 26.2 days post-marathon. No sympathy, no exceptions. Lol.
So I hung out, and was so happy that everyone had been happy to see me along the course, was wondering over me, and supportive when I told answered with: post marathon depression.
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